the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
