More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
