I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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