it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
