I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
