I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
