A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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