im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
