NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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