i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
