we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
