I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize