the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
