Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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