Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanna passion pit in your ass
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Boobs are out for the taking
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize