i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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