i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize