Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize