I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
