I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
