He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize