Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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