how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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