I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
