uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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