Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
