just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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