U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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