so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
