That's intense
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
