I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
