wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
