Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
