Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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