Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize