Redeem this text for a blowjob
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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