this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Found your dick twin last night
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
