Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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