I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
