we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
