Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
