I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
