My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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