if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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