Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
