Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
