U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize