Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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