Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
