I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
