WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
