my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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