lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
