Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
