My liver just broke up with me...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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