if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
