tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
True strength comes from lack of pants
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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