Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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