he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
