it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So many bounce houses so little time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
