So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
