I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
