things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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