she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
