Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
