i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the liver wants what the liver wants
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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