Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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