they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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