I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think im going to throw up on grandma
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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